Partnering and parenting while becoming physicians means we give our lives away to home and hospital. The experience has been challenging and clarifying. The only way to parent infants is to allow them to transform your life. You trade going out with friends for bedtime stories. You miss peak Kanye and every season of The Wire when you are listening to Raffi and watching Pixar films. We have found giving your life away to someone else a harder, but more enduring, burnout cure than the life hacks, mindfulness techniques, or retirement planning the hospital offered as solutions.

But a real transformation hurts.