It is now possible to determine with a high level of accuracy whether or not a child being carried in the first trimester has Down syndrome. All it takes is a blood test and an ultrasound. But I know one phlebotomist who never drew blood from a patient for this purpose; she simply could not do it. Why? Because, having come to know Louisa as a friend, she recognized and treasured the special gift that was given to her. And because of the risk that the results might lead the mother to abort the developing child.
Tom, a neighbor, wrote that in spite of the half century that separated their ages and the fact that he could not carry a tune to save his life (she was always singing), “Me and Louisa were special friends.”
I couldn’t understand it for a while. I was not in her age group. I do not understand anything about music. But we were special friends. Finally I figured out that everyone was Louisa’s special friend. She had that gift of being friends with whomever she was with at the time. It is certainly a gift that we very much have to ask God that we are given. She had it to perfection.
Louisa’s perfect gift had everything to do with something extra she had that most of us do not. While many consider Down syndrome a deficiency, the condition is rooted in an extra 21st chromosome. Tom had it right. It is a gift, and the rest of us are deficient. It is not just that we are missing that extra bit of genetic material. We so often miss out on the richest part of life: relationships.
that led to her early death, Louisa proved that it is not how long we live life, but how we live it each day that counts. She lived it to the full and relished those things in particular that the doctors frowned upon – like lots of goodies, chocolate, and all things sweet. “I love food, period.” She was short and seemed at times to be equally dimensioned in height and width. But any remark remotely referring to this optical illusion would immediately be strenuously rejected, “I’m round, not square.”
Louisa shared fully in the joy of those who rejoiced, particularly when it came to weddings or the birth of a baby. Though she could partake in neither of these events herself, she was an incurable romantic (often playing the part of the bride) and was always the first to painstakingly letter out a greeting to a new arrival. And she lifted up those in sadness through a press of her pudgy hand or a short phrase of encouragement. She used to swing endlessly on her favorite swing, singing Christmas or Easter songs. A friend told us later that hearing Louisa singing and swinging carried her through a period of deep turmoil and personal crisis.
– in the family and in the world at large. When she was given an opportunity to write an essay on the Middle East in 1991 and earn a trip to Israel/Palestine, Louisa labored long and hard, producing a five-chapter document that moved freely between Old Testament stories, her favorite hymns, lines from Fiddler on the Roof or Handel’s Messiah, and current happenings in the region.
Here is Chapter Three, with only the spelling (and a little grammar) altered from the original.
They throw stones, the Palestinians, because the Jewish people take away their homes. But they are also very sad, the Jewish people. They are fighting for their homeland. But the problem is they both want the same place. They should forgive each other. Loving hearts. He got Israel in his hands and he watching over Israel slumbers not nor sleeps.
, the pressure to abort a child predicted to have the syndrome starts earlier in the pregnancy than ever before. Sadly, some succumb to this pressure, largely because they have no one in their life to tell them of the blessing of this special gift. For my part, I find it very difficult to imagine life without Louisa. How impoverished this country would be without the thousands like her that are born each year!
There is no doubt that caring for a child with Down syndrome carries immense challenges for family, friends, and school. But the rewards are immeasurable, and the lessons taught by individuals with Down syndrome (and Louisa sure was an individual) are simply not provided by those of us of “sound” mind. It is a matter of the heart.
In the final chapter of her essay, she offered us all a glimpse into a world she worked for every day but did not live to see, embracing all humanity:
All nations shall come together in peace and unity and sing we shall overcome and shake hands and hug one another. The heavenly kingdom will come on earth. Jesus loves Palestinians and Israelis. They will come both to the kingdom of God. Halleluiah. King of Kings and Lord of Lords. And he shall live and reign for ever and ever. Amen.