In 2015 I returned to Mukoma, my murdered husband’s village, for the yearly remembrance of all who died in the genocide against the Tutsi. I knew the village would expect to hear from me, and now I suddenly felt that this was the time and place – twenty-one years after the genocide, in an atmosphere of peace – to broach the subject of forgiveness. Despite my certainty, I felt apprehensive as I rose to address around five hundred people. Were they ready for this? “Has any of you been able to forgive?” I asked. To my astonishment, at least a dozen hands shot up, voices calling, “I have!” “I have!”

One was Cancilde, whose husband and five children had been killed.