Why is it important that a marriage remain a commitment between one man and one woman?

Christoph Arnold: This is of vital importance. Marriage and family and faithfulness: our society depends on it. God is a God of order. The disintegration of the family is what destroys us. We have to rediscover the family.

When I put the book together, “Sex, God, and Marriage”, I sent it to the late Pope John Paul II and Cardinal Ratzinger who is now Pope Benedict XVI. He wrote a very prophetic word. This is now 16 years ago. He speaks about a persecution of the Church and this is what is happening right now:

I was glad to deliver “Sex, God, and Marriage” to the Holy Father. He was very happy for the ecumenical gesture and more than that, for the contents and the harmony of moral conviction that springs from our common faith in Christ. Such conviction will inevitably arouse hatred, even persecution. The Lord has predicted it. But with Him we must continue in trying to overcome evil through good.

And I would love to hear what you, Father Benedict, have to say on that.

Father Benedict: Well, in this country, what you see is that the media is turned very, very much against the family. It runs a war against the family every day. The friars are very lucky. We have no television and we have no internet. They tell me we have a website but we don’t have any web to look at it! What you find there is undermining family life particularly in terms of sexual misbehavior between men and women, and sexual misbehavior between men and men, and women with women.

Now what do you do? First of all, you give a very good, powerful message in the book and I’m immensely grateful. We also have another adversary. That is the Prince of Darkness. I’m not sure that would very often be spoken about here – the evil spirits. Believe me, they are around. I happen to be a psychologist as well as a priest. They say, “How could you be a psychologist and talk about evil spirits?” I say, “How can I be a psychologist and not talk about evil spirits?” You deal with it all the time, usually in not any spectacular way, but undefined. So the daily newspaper, the television, the films, the internet, these are the things you have to be careful of. You don’t have to have an open, obvious persecution like they did in Soviet Russia. What we have over here is subtle, unobvious, secret persecution.

Art Wiser: Just to add to what Brother Benedict said. Actually we are aware of evil spirits and the battle going on between the evil and the good spirits. We feel absolutely dependant on the presence of the Holy Spirit among us. We are not able humanly to stand up to the forces against us and against Jesus.

Richard Scott: Another area is faithfulness. In our community, and I know with the friars, we make promises to be faithful to the end of our life. That is the building block of community. So when a marriage is between one man and one woman until death parts them, we all know how that is seen in our world today. A commitment of faithfulness is not held onto or not even wanted in many cases. It’s often a commitment of materialism, and as soon as the love grows cold between a man and woman they separate. So for us it is the building block of community and also our commitment at baptism is a lifetime commitment of faithfulness. This is very important, not just for us but for the whole world, the willingness to be faithful to what you promise for your whole life.

What does it mean to be faithful in the Church, as a family (husband and wife) and as single people?

Christoph: I feel that our culture hates faithfulness, hates commitment. The people that are faithful to Jesus and are faithful to one another are like a beacon of light that shines in this dark world. Actually people long to be faithful. They long to be committed. But they do not have people who are role models to show them that it is feasible to love one another, it is feasible to be committed to one another, and it is very feasible to love Jesus and to make him your master. This is a witness that needs to be given in the world we live in today.

Father Benedict: In the world we live in today, the politicians and especially the comedians, the entertainers, will mock chastity, loyalty, purity, and marriage and any place else. However, when you go around through the world like we are, which is to be a witness to the holy gospel, you don’t meet much opposition at all. And especially in a place like NY city. Our brothers had to learn as young men to all of a sudden walk through midtown Manhattan looking like an advertisement for the Canterbury Tales, you know! Here we are in NY City, this big worldly city, and we have no trouble at all, none at all. If people do talk, they will ask in respectful and interesting ways, and they want to learn, because a great many people who do not have Christian gospel values are not opposed to them. They simply don’t know. They haven’t learned.

And if you read the New Testament, you’ll read about bringing people along and converting people. Jesus in his own life was going everywhere preaching. St. Paul, (Read St. Paul, I’ve been reading him all this year) how immense numbers of people listened to him. Don’t be afraid. You are not, as we are, kind of marked as clergy, but don’t be bashful. Now I’ll bet you that many of the ladies here have been asked, “Why do you wear the kerchief? Why are you dressed this way?” It’s a great opportunity. Tell them! Don’t be bashful! Especially in NY, never be bashful! It’s called a witness. That’s what we need—to be witnesses.

People want things to be better. All my life as a priest my job was to work with broken families. I was chaplain of Children’s Village which was a psychiatric treatment center for disturbed children. And the mothers of most of the boys there were unmarried and sometimes they had very seriously messed up lives. But you know; they wanted the best. I knew many girls that never had a family. No one had introduced them to a family. But when their daughter got married they wanted that girl to get married in church and go down the aisle. How would they want anything else?

Father Glenn: Many times you might have heard the little quote about St. Francis telling the brothers that they are going out to preach.  He goes off with the brothers and they don’t say a word as they walk through the town.  They come back and the brothers ask, “I thought we were going to preach?”  And he says, “We did.”  I think the witness of your life and hopefully the witness of my life will bring sanity in a somewhat insane culture.

 

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Fr. Benedict Groeschel, C.F.R., is popular around the world for his bold and powerful witness to the Gospel. For many years Fr. Groeschel has tirelessly worked with the poor and needy, spoken to tens of thousands of Catholics, and written numerous articles and books.

In May 1987 he founded, with eight other friars, the community of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal. The Community, which follows the Capuchin Tradition, now has over  135 friars and 30 sisters. It is dedicated to preaching reform within the Church and caring for the homeless in the South Bronx and Harlem sections of New York City, as well as in London, Limerick, Honduras and Nicaragua.

 

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Responses

i really loved the article.i learnt many new things like mariage being more than a personal thing.i see it as a ministry,and in Jesus' name I & my future husband will be a good stewards. I think too that it is important to pray for your relationship ,marriage and kids even before you meet someone. I believe a lot in prophesy and the scripture :"you shall decree a thing and it shall be established". I use it a lot, and it works!

byekwatso naomi