Recently, a couple from our church returned home after a mission trip. They met many seeking hearts – people who felt the need to change and who wanted something new. But when they shared about the forgiveness of sins Jesus offers, they were met with mixed reactions: “God has already forgiven me.” “Do I really have to confess my sins in order to be forgiven?” “Isn’t God’s grace sufficient?”

God’s grace indeed abounds, but this is especially so when we unburden our lives before another person. Sin and guilt always work in secret. This is why Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes, “In the confession of concrete sins the old man dies a painful, shameful death before the eyes of a brother. Because this humiliation is so hard, we continually scheme to avoid it. Yet in the deep mental and physical pain of humiliation before a brother we experience our rescue and salvation.”

Confessing one’s sins to someone – even someone we trust – is never easy because it means becoming vulnerable; it means admitting we need help. In a world that exalts individual achievement and despises weakness, revealing one’s sins and saying I’m sorry is not what most of us want to do. Then there is the fear of gossip which can so quickly circulate, especially in tight-knit Christian groups.

But all this can be an excuse, a copout for not really turning away from sin. Hiding behind our Christianity, we keep our sin secret, not because we feel forgiven but because we fear wounded pride. Self-righteousness, having it “together”, looking good, have become so entrenched in us, even among the most devout Christians, that instead of being the sinners we are we lock ourselves up behind bars in a prison constructed of nothing but spiritual façades – a prison that keeps us isolated from each other and from God.

My wife and I founded our marriage on our urge to follow Christ above all else. We have fallen short of this many times, but just as often have experienced that by confessing our failings openly to one another we find a deeper unity and love and are able to help one another. It has become blindingly obvious to me that keeping secrets from my wife – particularly about my temptations and sins – only damages our marriage.

Isn’t the same true of all our relationships? If we long for peace, unity and love in our fellowship with one another, then we must become vulnerable and reveal what we are hiding in the dark. When the apostle Paul urges us to carry each other’s burdens, he meant this to lead us nearer to Jesus and, in the end, to one another. It is a gift, not a begrudging duty.

The first letter of John is as sharp as it is hopeful: “If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another.”

What does it mean to walk in the light, to come clean? To truly give up that which Christ wants to take away? Like the paralysed man described in Matthew 9, we are all afflicted with some kind of suffering, some kind of sickness or infirmity. More importantly, most of us are weighed down with our sins and failures. This is why James, in his letter, urges us to call the elders of the church to pray, and to confess our sins to one another (James 5:13-17). Through confession we can unlock the bars that keep us bound up inside. Then we find true and lasting healing.

But for this to happen, we must be ready for Christ to change us. Perhaps this is why we resist confessing anything to anybody. For to admit our wrongdoings to another person would mean we are ready to change the way we are and live. Jesus promises to make everything new, but also says, “go and sin no more.”

Yes, God knows everything, and we can always come directly to him. His forgiveness is a wonderful gift. But its power to free and heal comes at a cost: we must allow ourselves to be made low so that Christ himself can truly lift us up to new life.

When we confess our sins to one another, we go the lowly way of Jesus, who was born in a manger and died on a cross. We meet this Christ in our brother and sister. It is a mystery, but the humble way is the only way that leads to light and hope, freedom and joy. Then, as Jesus said, “the Kingdom of God is in your midst” (Luke 17:21).

 

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Your Turn. Tell us what you thought about this article:

Responses

Thank you for this excellent meditation. A congregate of "warm, friendly," nice, like-minded good people is one thing; a co-unity of forgiven and forgiving "as we have been forgiven" sinners, raised from humiliation and Death into heaven, all sharing in such a mind of Christ, is Christ! Is Resurrection. Is joy. Is Love. Yet it is not made by human hands or even human hearts, it is The Gift Of God.

Joel Watson
VA

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"On earth - as it is in heaven." God sanctifies us through Him on every level - the most precious gift being a community of image-bearers. This is the restoration of a new humanity, a new heaven and a new earth.

Adrian
Hickory NC