Be imitators of God, therefore, and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us…Among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk, or coarse joking…Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Ephesians 5:1–6

Throughout scripture, the unity of Christ with his church is compared to the union of marriage. But does such unity even exist today? Instead, we see fear and suspicion, broken hearts, discarded lives, and abused children. Our culture is obsessed with sex, and marriage is the first casualty. This is because sex has become an idol – a short-lived splurge followed only by emptiness.

How can we rediscover what love means? First, we have to take responsibility for our actions. Instead of blaming the media, we need to see that we are reaping what we have sown. Instead of liberating us, the so-called "Sexual Revolution" has confused and hardened us. And instead of engendering responsibility and safety, it has wrought devastation: suicide, abortion, disease, and broken lives.

True education instills reverence

Incredibly, the public response to all this decay is to offer more, and not less, education about sex. And what is happening in schools today is much more than just a simple presentation of biological facts. Rather, students are being taught to sin in graphic detail: to masturbate, and to explore any and every perversion imaginable. Self-denial and reverence are pushed aside, and sexual fulfillment as an end in itself is celebrated and encouraged. One cannot read the material being used in the New York City schools, for example, without concluding that we are now going to be raising a generation of perverts and criminals. This horrific curriculum is nothing short of defiance and rebellion against God, and we must protest against it.

Children are the most precious gift God gives us. They are innocent, pure, and also vulnerable. Therefore it is wrong to mandate sex education in the public schools. It is wrong to teach ten-year-olds about oral and anal sex. Let us not forget how seriously Jesus warns his followers about misleading children: that anyone who leads a child to sin should be drowned in the depths of the sea, with a millstone around his neck! (Matthew 18:6)

The right place for sex education is the home, and the right teachers are always the parents. We need to talk openly with our own children about sexual matters, especially as they approach adolescence. But offering them detailed information about things they have never even contemplated leads only to curiosity, and then to sin.

Children need to be guided to guard their own dignity, and that of others. They need to understand that selfish pleasure, whether it “hurts” anybody else or not, is wrong. They need to see that any sexual activity apart from God burdens the conscience, undermines honest relationships, and leads to emptiness.

But a child can acquire a healthy attitude to his body by being taught to respect it. I will never forget how my father took me for a walk when I was a teenager, and told me about the struggle for a pure life – and how important it was to keep myself pure for the woman I might marry some day. He said, “If you are able to live a pure life now, it will be easier later in life. But if you give in to impurity, it will become harder and harder to withstand temptation, even after you marry.”

Parents should remember that the discipline of work – whether through chores, exercise, or other activities – is one of the best safeguards against impurity. Children who have been taught to stick at a task and see it through will be better equipped to deal with sexual temptations than those who have been pampered. This is because a healthy self-discipline serves us in all areas of life, whether eating, working, waking up in the morning, or turning our backs on the temptations of the flesh.

Any misuse of sex cuts us off from our true selves and from each other.

Young people underestimate the power of the demonic forces they allow into their lives when they give in to masturbation, pornography, and casual sexual intimacy. All of these things separate us from genuine relationships, and when they become habitual, they breed isolation and frustration. They are a means to sexual satisfaction without the “burden” of commitment. They reduce the mystery of sex to a technique for satisfying lust, and bring shame rather than joy. They desecrate our bodies, and destroy any image of God within us.

Prayer and confession will free us from the burden of impurity

People who struggle with impurity are often too ashamed to talk about it. Yet it is important to realize that because sin works in secrecy, its power can be broken only when it is confessed. Sharing one’s burdens with someone we trust can be painful, but is the only way to become free.

People may struggle with masturbation right to the end of their lives. One can wonder whether there is any way to rid oneself of this curse. Simple redirection of our thoughts and activities can help: to get of bed, take a walk, or to tackle a chore. But even then, we can never free ourselves completely in our own strength.

This reality drives many who seek for purity to despair, and even to suicide. Yet to think that our problems are so big that God can no longer help us is rebellion. God’s grace is greater than our weakness. He wants to give us new hope and courage, no matter how deeply we have betrayed him. But we must believe in his power to free us from all sin. This is why prayer and petition are so important. God is ready to forgive (1 John 1:9). We only need to be humble enough to ask him.

 

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